I hate my heart
It clings to hope,
tearing me apart.
I've reasoned with it,
pleaded in vain,
But it's deaf to logic,
blind to my pain.
I hate my heart
For when it’s out, it kills me and possesses the self
doesn’t like wearing any mask
And starts doing stupid things
there are questions I've been wanting to ask
But all it wants to do is to dance & sing
And my heart probably hates me too,
As all it wants is to get out and love
It’s still so young and I feel so old
that we’re always at odds
And all I do for it is scribble a few words.
It’s
Your Fault
It's
your fault, you know,
This
constant smile etched on my face,
A
state where I can't even listen to a song,
Without
feeling your embrace.
It's
all your fault, you know,
That
in echoes of laughter, I hear your voice,
The
sunsets I loved, brings little rejoice
For
my love, your absence is there
A
ghostly presence in the evening air.
It’s
your fault, my dear, I confess,
There
is an ache in my heart, that won't suppress
It
beats strangely and is too tired,
It
seems to have forgotten how to exist
Without
being desired
So,
I wander through the labyrinth of mind,
Haunted
by your presence, relentless and kind,
To
think of you, an unending curse,
I
have destroyed myself
And yet there is no remorse.
Tell
Me She Says
Tell
me where it hurts, she says
but
I can’t tell her, can I?
for
hurt is nothing, just four letters small and cute,
but
the weight it carries, my love, is absolute
Then
tell me why you look so sad?
what
game are you playing?
do
you just want to make me look bad?
is
this a cruel jest, a calculated ploy?
to
shatter my spirit, my inner joy?
Should
I tell her what I crave?
or
would that be a grave mistake?
risking
vulnerability, emotions churn
or
do I keep it hidden, safe within?
buried
beneath this mask, a timid grin.
Tell
me, are you angry? She says
but
how can I be when
her
faintest smile breaks through my walls,
and
all the bitterness within me falls
in
these dark alleys, where demons once roamed,
her presence, a solace, a haven I've known.
I have a pen in my hand
and sun in my head
I lay here searching for
words,
But they hide and run away
from me
Maybe I’ll just binge
another season—
No, maybe I will force
them out
The sun is getting more
than warm;
The skin turns dark, and
then the sky turns dark
Bottles clink, and the
lungs turn darker
I wait for tomorrow;
They say it will be
better,
But I can’t imagine—
Or maybe you won’t let me
Either way, it is yet to
come,
So I let myself dream for
now
Maybe I’ll learn to live
without a dream
The days are getting
shorter—
Maybe it will be over
soon,
Or maybe it will not.
Maybe I am too honest —
No,
Maybe I am just a good
liar
Maybe everything is lost,
Or maybe nothing is lost
Maybe I will learn to
write,
Knowing you’ll never read.
Maybe the next one I write
Will not be a complete
shit.
Do Not
Do not ask me,
"What am I doing?"
I cannot explain that
I am busy,
Busy, doing nothing.
Do not ask,
"Why do I speak
so little?"
For the words I speak are lies,
And I am weary of
deceit.
Do not ask me,
"What is it that
I fear?"
For I fear I’ll make you suffer.
You see, I’ve been cursed
With a love I cannot
repay,
No matter what I
offer.
Do not look at me
With those piercing
eyes,
For I may meet your
gaze.
Do not peek into my
heart,
For you might glimpse
a wound.
Do not dig any
further,
For you might uncover love.
Questions
What requires more strength—
To hold on or to let go?
What needs more courage—
To do something or to do nothing?
Can you fake love until it becomes real?
Can you be in love and still hate?
Does it make sense that I lost when I won?
I know these are silly questions, right?
I know I should get a grip
But this is what I am, you see
I am addicted to all the bad things
I apologize if I am complain too much,
But it’s not fair, you know,
That I know almost nothing about you,
And I’ve given you all my secrets
So, you must tell me,
Do you smile often?
Are your eyes still filled with passion?
I wonder what makes you tick,
What kind of music do you listen to?
What kind of books do you read?
Do you like rainy days?
What do you do when you feel lonely?
What would you want me to touch—?
Your body, your mind, or your soul?
Do these hollow words mean anything to you?
If yes, then let me warn you,
Do not mistake it for love,
For these are words of obsession.